I've had an idea for a movie.
Two "artists," one from New Zealand and the other from New York (to be played by William Katt and Tom Green respectively), meet up in Japan and set off dressed as clowns on a 530km-long trek from Kyoto to Tokyo to raise awareness about global warming.
The New Zealand clown develops an ingrown toenail, but he is determined to see the project completed, and so hacks off the munted appendage with a knife.
Upon reaching Nagano prefecture, the two have an argument over where to stop for lunch. The toeless one wanders off into the forest in a huff, and is attacked by a Japanese Black Bear, who is attracted by the sound of a Swiss cowbell his sister gave him in the mistaken belief that it would ward off the animals. (The Swiss cowbell in fact produces a sound that is very similar to the mating call of the Japanese Black Bear.)
While attempting to escape the bear's clutches, the Kiwi clown loses his balance and stumbles. The New York clown rushes to his aid, and in a desperate effort to save him, grabs the cowbell and leads the bear away into the forest, enabling his injured companion to scramble to safety.
Alone, the toeless one vows to continue the journey in honour of his missing partner, and pushes on to Shimo-Suwa, where the Onbashira festival is in full swing. On hearing his story, the festival organizers agree to let the clown ride one of the logs down a hill as part of the ki-otoshi ceremony.
A long-time fan of U.S. actor Slim Pickens, the Kiwi clown decides to don a cowboy hat for the log ride, and takes a video camera with him to film the event. Things go spectacularly well, until he loses his balance as he tries to adjust the focus, and ends up capturing the moment of his own death as he is crushed beneath the massive trunk.
I'm not sure how that ending would go down with U.S. audiences. Perhaps there could be an alternate ending in which we learn that the New York clown is still alive. He turns up at the Onbashira festival just in time to see his partner hurtle down the mountain to his death, rescues the camera, and edits the footage into a film which goes on to win an Academy Award.
Distance walked today: 0km
Total distance walked since blog began: 78.4km
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7 comments:
There is an uncanny resemblance between you and William Katt. How about Meg Ryan to play me? I have been told more than once that I look like her!!
I hadn't actually considered having your character in the movie. But I guess we coud have a few minutes of flashback, you know, of you handing over the cowbell. We'd have to restrict it to a cameo role anyway, given that Meg is probably a bit on the expensive side.
Would Klemmie be interested in playing the bear? He might be too tall, though.
As I feared, "usually between 55-65 inches (140-165 cm) long".
You could use camera tricks like they did for the hobbits!
I'm sure we could extend my role - me in Switzerland receiving the cow bell that I would several years later give to my brother to protect him from bears in Japan. In fact I would be willing to play Meg playing myself for a modest fee.
Kind of like Juia Roberts in Ocean's Twelve. You know, the bit where her character pretends she's Julia Roberts?
you've definitely got novellist potential. becomes more apparent every post. nine-toed clown makes kiwi-lit hip.
Spookily, this entry was originally entitled, "An idea for a novel".
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